are trickling down, are trickling down! We all like to stay young, look youthful. No two ways about that. But we'd also be lucky to be able to live healthfully to a good old age.
Children will grow up, move out and have their own lives. We may still share a great bond and communication with them but they will have interests, friends, activities and goals outside of us. It's not like I think a lot about this whole process, but whenever there's any brush with this topic, I struggle to accept this. That kids will grow up and grow out and I'll have to deal with it in a dignified manner. Be there to help and advise but not hover or smother.
It's very jarring, counter-intuitive yet practical - that all your young age you work hard to raise kids, everything you do is for their wellbeing, good health, secure future and success. Yet sooner or later they have to be respected as independent individuals who'd love for your to accept and acknowledge their need for independence and their privacy.
Raising kids is like making a delicate dish like mysore pak - that can go from under cooked to perfect to overdone is a matter of seconds. A little slack and they can go astray, too tight a leash and they can resent you for life. Last thing I want is to hear my kids telling some radio show host how their childhood experiences scarred them for life.
Our parents did a lot for us. And that's clearly a big understatement. We love them, we worry for them - true. Yet we have settled down to - doing the best given our current life circumstances. Our life that is swamped with work, home, kids schools, extra curricular activities, some mandatory social engagements so on and so forth... It's only natural that we accept that our kids too will become busy adults with busy lives. I like how a lot of westerners start living it up in style once they become empty nesters. Any touristy spot I go to I have always caught an old couple or a bunch of elderly people travelling on their own - visiting new places. I am not streotyping, but more westerners than asian parents seem very comfortable with the idea of enjoying their lives on their own after kids have moved out. To connect your happiness to some activities and interests and not just to a handful of people is very important.
'Learning new things, staying socially active and practising physical fitness' is the key to keeping your brain and body alive and fresh, according to a Boston globe article on aging. After years of being busy, coming to a screeching halt can cause depression. So changing paths, not speed is vital.
It is not an easy transition, but it could be an exciting time. It is so, say a lot of seniors. A lot of senior dwelling is now becoming commonplace next to universities, where they can take courses. A lot of them enjoy learning new things they only wished they could when their lives were busier and time was scarce. Playing games, developing a new hobby like gardening, painting, cooking or any craft work, socializing and most importantly - volunteering and social service - being part of a greater cause can give a sense of fulfilment like no other. Not only for a life post retirement, but even for the present a little time spent in indulging or nurturing the 'self' can be very rewarding and open a treasure trove of new and exciting avenues.
Children will grow up, move out and have their own lives. We may still share a great bond and communication with them but they will have interests, friends, activities and goals outside of us. It's not like I think a lot about this whole process, but whenever there's any brush with this topic, I struggle to accept this. That kids will grow up and grow out and I'll have to deal with it in a dignified manner. Be there to help and advise but not hover or smother.
It's very jarring, counter-intuitive yet practical - that all your young age you work hard to raise kids, everything you do is for their wellbeing, good health, secure future and success. Yet sooner or later they have to be respected as independent individuals who'd love for your to accept and acknowledge their need for independence and their privacy.
Raising kids is like making a delicate dish like mysore pak - that can go from under cooked to perfect to overdone is a matter of seconds. A little slack and they can go astray, too tight a leash and they can resent you for life. Last thing I want is to hear my kids telling some radio show host how their childhood experiences scarred them for life.
Our parents did a lot for us. And that's clearly a big understatement. We love them, we worry for them - true. Yet we have settled down to - doing the best given our current life circumstances. Our life that is swamped with work, home, kids schools, extra curricular activities, some mandatory social engagements so on and so forth... It's only natural that we accept that our kids too will become busy adults with busy lives. I like how a lot of westerners start living it up in style once they become empty nesters. Any touristy spot I go to I have always caught an old couple or a bunch of elderly people travelling on their own - visiting new places. I am not streotyping, but more westerners than asian parents seem very comfortable with the idea of enjoying their lives on their own after kids have moved out. To connect your happiness to some activities and interests and not just to a handful of people is very important.
'Learning new things, staying socially active and practising physical fitness' is the key to keeping your brain and body alive and fresh, according to a Boston globe article on aging. After years of being busy, coming to a screeching halt can cause depression. So changing paths, not speed is vital.
It is not an easy transition, but it could be an exciting time. It is so, say a lot of seniors. A lot of senior dwelling is now becoming commonplace next to universities, where they can take courses. A lot of them enjoy learning new things they only wished they could when their lives were busier and time was scarce. Playing games, developing a new hobby like gardening, painting, cooking or any craft work, socializing and most importantly - volunteering and social service - being part of a greater cause can give a sense of fulfilment like no other. Not only for a life post retirement, but even for the present a little time spent in indulging or nurturing the 'self' can be very rewarding and open a treasure trove of new and exciting avenues.
