Mall stories

Last weekend, what started as a furniture hunt morphed into a 'let's buy you a couple of shirts' undertaking. DD, DH, myself and PIL ( parents-in-law) browsed for a shirt or two on the eve of  DH's birthday. Not that there was any need for a special occasion. My husband is the complete antithesis of the typical male traits that are bemoaned in womens' circles from what I've heard or read about. I'd read from some forwarded email about a man saying of his wife, that he wouldn't let go of her hand, or else she'd go shopping. That, I would have to say to my husband. He loves to shop - loves to buy clothes, perfume, belts, wallets, shoes etc for himself. I do not have any of the 'leaves the toilet seat up/ leaves a damp towel or dirty socks on the floor' kind of issue. Nope! My husband is a neat freak, meticulously organizes and maintains all his belongings down to the last bit of paper. No matter what time he comes home, how tired he is, his clothes, socks etc all go where they need to. Does not need any goading or urging to get important tasks done. Before you decide that the grass on my side is super green , gets a generous dose of  'miracle-gro for lawns' every week and I also have a beautiful garden with a fountain, in the centre of which is the sculpture of a cherubic angel..... I must state that these very same behaviours coupled with the highly critical Virgo that he is make it X-tremely difficult for the spouse i.e. myself.
   Getting back to the shirt-shopping, DH picked up a couple of shirts I selected and went into the fitting room, promptly followed by DD. None of my calling out to her from the entrance to the Men's fitting room had any desired effect. As I waited there, DH called out to me to come take her. I put my head in, saw nobody in the passage way and proceeded toward the stall in which the rest of my immediate family was temporarily housed. Once I got there, my husband opened the door and to my astonishment, I found my daughter standing in her under pants ready to wear the new shirt. Seeing her dad take of his shirt had triggered this instant imitating. I wished for a second that she'd learn all the things I was intending for her to emulate from us, with this willingness, free of fuss. Shaking my head in disbelief, I gently but sternly asked her to wear her frock and come out. Meanwhile, she pulled my hand and yanked me into the stall and said " hurrah, we did it, we did it!" Doraaaaaaa, sometimes I can't stand you!
My husband was gesturing with both hands, with the urgency and fervor of an aid worker at the site of a catastrophe, for me to put back the clothes on our almost 3 yr old( who was in absolute glee that we were all together in this tiny confined space). And I was alternately pleading with ,chiding and bribing my daughter to put on her clothes and come out with me, when there was a knock on the door and a voice went 'We can't have you in here ma'am, you have to leave'. I was so embarrassed, never before would I have pictured myself in this kind of a situation. My daughter was jumping with joy, talking to and making funny faces at her reflection in the full length mirror while my husband and I argued with each other softly and tried our best to convince DD. What would be worse was if she ran out of the stall and outside that fitting room in her underpants and out into the expanse of the store. An episode of Seinfeld again came to mind - Serenity now, Insanity later! This, dear yet-to-be-parents is one of the many moments of heightened tension and embarrassment that your progeny will treat you to. Somehow one of my entreaties clicked and I was able to bring her out with her clothes back on her and as I was walking out I said to the attendant , " I apologize, my daughter ran in and wanted to try that shirt herself " to which the jerk replied ' I know, it's too small a space for you to get mischeavous'! Huh? My embarrassment multiplied instantly and I found myself at a loss for words. Carrying my toddler in my arms I walked across to a different section when in the middle of my horror and  exhaustion, I thought to myself  "Don't be so sure! wink! "