Do actions really speak louder than words?

 Sometimes I wonder.
True, words become robbed of their meaning and gravity when not complemented by deed. But aren't words in and of themselves extremely potent ?
Don't words soothe, encourage, motivate, mock, ridicule, singe, sear,scald, uplift, strengthen, enthuse, disparage, taunt, prick, elevate us to the pinnacle of joy or beat us down to a dark abyss? Show love, kindness and warmth or convey bitter resentment, condescension and  hatred? Without raising a finger or moving an inch one human can deeply affect another by the choice of a string of words. As much as the right words can transform lives for the better, negative words can unleash havoc.
If the pen is mightier than the sword, what about the spoken word that comes with multiple facets like voice, volume, diction, tone and so on ?  Factor in body language, facial expressions and the magnitude of what hits you is undeniable.
Choose your words carefully. All things considered, the stimuli we receive and the responses we give out in our immediate environment, all our relationships, our goals, our feelings, our thoughts and dreams, our passions, our insecurities and fears are inextricably entwined with the words that we hear, read and the words that constantly run through our hearts and minds!

Father's Day fun!

Happy father's day to all!

Hope everyone got to spend some good time with their kids/dads/husbands/brothers/friends - a special dad on this special day.

At my daughter's preschool the parents were invited to father's day party last week. The teachers came up with a very fun and original idea. Previously they had asked each child by turn what their dad did at work and put the responses down verbatim in their respective father's day personalised greeting cards. These cards were all taped to a wall in a straight line. They were numbered serially below each card. Parents were asked to take a look at all the cards and pick the number of the card they thought was their child's response. The children's replies ranged from a terse 'No comment' to some really humorous views on their dad's employment. Finally the teacher took each card and read the contents, after which the dads raised their hands to claim that number. Some were right, some weren't. Take a look.

Z



Nothing in particular-isms

Wow! Feels good to be back after a long haitus.
I don't really have anything compelling enough to say, so I'll share a few random things that popped in my head and things I read from here and there in the past few days.

* Take care of the body that houses you. But don't obsess about waist size, every strand of grey hair or every pimple. Your body will eventually get old, sick and die - and that is, if you're lucky! I am sure nobody wants a quicker or more dramatic exit.

* Life is a beautiful journey. Enjoy every step of it , in beautiful shoes you love - if possible!

In news I read this week :
1)  'In the hands of New York's celebrated chef, Mumbai-born Floyd Cardoz, the unpretentious upma shot into international culinary limelight on Wednesday. Asked to prepare an item based on food memories, (or dishes that inspired them in their lives), in the final of the much-watched Top Chef Masters contest in Los Angeles, Cardoz whipped up an upma of semolina and mushroom to beat two other favorites and win the top prize of $ 100,000.'
I make a mean upma with green beans, carrots, potatoes - all finely chopped, with peas, green chillies , curry leaves and cilantro, a spoon of freshly grated coconut, ginger slivers and a small dollop of ghee - a far cry from the plain vanilla upma that brings out groans and grimaces; I am willing to accept just 50% of the above prize amount, as it's not my original creation. Sigh!

2) A Meerut resident married a girl, only to discover the next morning that she was forced into the marriage, and has already secretly married (in a temple) the man she is in love with. Originally this girl's older sister was the one who was supposed to be the bride. She eloped with her lover just before the wedding, and the parents of the bride drugged this girl and got her married after convincing the groom's party to accept the younger sister in place of the older one.  Upon learning how the girl was forced into this marriage, the righteous man immediately shared this with his parents, had the girl tie a rakhi on his wrist making himself her brother. The parents of the boy also gladly accepted her as their daughter and now the girl's new family is all set to get her formally married to her lover, much against the wishes of her birth family.
This news has enough masala to cause your head to spin uncontrollably and give you vertigo than any 360 deg loopy dangerous rides of any amusement park in the world. Life imitates Bollywood imitates life.......

What a weekend!

I had read somewhere - 'As you age you regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did ', the wisdom in those words is ringing truer with every passing year.
Last weekend I travelled with my daughter to a mini reunion with my undergrad friends and had a fantastic time. A month ago I came to know that my friend in Atlanta was going to be visiting Dallas, where three other friends live. I wished for a moment that I could go too, but then realized it would'nt be possible being in the seventh month of my pregnancy and travelling with a three and half year old. I spoke to my husband that night and he wasn't for it at all - no surprises there. Also we figured he was going to be travelling at that time, for work, and wouldn't be available if something went wrong. I reigned in my excitement and decided to err on the safer side.
       About two days before 'the' weekend, I again brought this up with my husband over the phone. He again told me all the good reasons  he had outlined before for why I shouldn't do it. He ended the conversation with , "Please don't make me worry about you when I am away, I already have enough on my plate with work related stuff". I agreed about 10%-heartedly. After I hung up I started looking for tickets, still unsure and debating with myself, but with a gargantuan urge to make it happen. An inner voice kept saying - Now or never! If I can't do this with one child, how much easier is it going to be with two kids? Life is only going to get more hectic and more complicated going forward for the next two decades. And even if I did find the time and could pull this off, how could I be sure my friends will be available and have favorable life situations etc.etc.?  In the midst of all these thoughts my bid was accepted and I was viewing the electronic copy of our tickets.
       I will not lie that I felt completely comfortable and confident about this. A part of me reminded me that if something went wrong, my whole family would be distraught, my husband would fry me every night for dinner. But why would it, it's a three and a half hour flight, my friends would take very good care of me and I will be very careful. I called Mr.husband to inform him this, then grinning ear to ear called my friend to let her know I was coming.
   I had a fabulous time from the minute I landed -  a marathon of sumptuous food, endless laughter, chit chat, remembering old times, catching up on all these years - it just couldn't have been better. The kids had a very good time with each other, was hard to believe that after all these years we were actually meeting and our children were playing with one another. I have never travelled just to meet friends in my eight or so years in this country - I am so happy this happened. My friends, their very kind and friendly spouses and the lovely kids made this an unforgettable weekend. I am very grateful for the experience.   

Have you seen this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4

Makes parenting and the minivan way of life seem cool :-)

Have challenges in life!

Once again, found this gem while cleaning up my bursting-at-the-seams inbox.

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The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh.
The Japanese did not like the taste. To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull! ! , but alive.
Unfortunately,the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan?
If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend?

As soon as you reach your goals, such as finding a wonderful mate, starting a successful company, paying off your debts or whatever, you might lose your passion. You don't need to work so hard so you relax.You experience the same problem as lottery winners who waste their money, wealthy heirs who never grow up and bored homemakers who get addicted to prescription drugs.

Like the Japanese fish problem, the best solution is simple. It was observed by L. Ron Hubbard in the early 1950's. "Man thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment."- L. Ron Hubbard The Benefits of a Challenge:
The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a good problem. If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are happy. You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions. You have fun. You are alive!

How Japanese Fish Stay Fresh:
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state.The
fish are challenged.
Recommendations:
Instead of avoiding challenges, jump into them. Beat the heck out of them. Enjoy the game. If your challenges are too large or too numerous, do not give up. Failing makes you tired. Instead, reorganize. Find more determination, more knowledge, more help.
If you have met your goals, set some bigger goals. Once you meet your personal or family needs, move onto goals for your group,the society, even mankind. Don't create success and lie in it. You have resources, skills and abilities to make a difference."
So, put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

What's the good word?

Just when you think your woes with diapers and spit-ups have come to an end, a different set of challenges set in. I recently walked into a friend's house with my daughter for a play date with her child and another kid. Just as we were exchanging pleasantries, my friend exclaimed to my daughter enthusiastically, "So, we are going to have a great time, yeah?" ; My daughter goes " Where's the hooker, where's the hooker?" . I am zapped, my friend is puzzled and we were trying to make sense of what she was telling. I ask her gently what she wants, my daughter replies " I want to hang my coat , where's the hooker?". She is used to coat hooks that all the children use in her day care to hang their coats. They're at a height appropriate for toddlers so they can hang on and take off their coats without any assistance. For a split second she made me wonder what kind of party I had brought her to!
    Last week on our way home in the evening, I had to quickly stop for fuel. I drove to a gas station in a strip mall with some small shops, a taqueria and such. It was not particularly an unsafe part of town. After getting gas, at the insistence of my child we went into the attached convenience store for some candy. I was standing in line to pay for the candy,  when I heard DD say, " Ma, I see a pirate, he's a pirate". With an uneasy knot in my stomach, I turned to see a dishevelled homeless man - a dirty green jacket, wiry overgrown hair and beard, a big bulging sack, a black patch on one eye and a scowl on his face. He was just a simple, harmless man, but due to my own insecurities, even without my child to invite trouble, I'd have quickly exited the place. But now with this siren from DD, I was very tense. I tried to ignore her, shush her and then strongly attempted to divert her attention to the candy. I had no idea how he might react. Luckily for us, he just smiled and told another store employee by the coffee machine, 'she thinks I- ma pirate!'. For no apparent reason my heart was beating fast and my grip on DD's hand tightened. I paid for the candy and rushed out from there before my daughter could have attempted to schmooze any further!