Excited and a bit nervous about forthcoming trip!!!! Going to India for the first time with husband, first time with daughter! That's going to be interesting! Accounts of my travails - err.. travels will follow!!!!
After a 5 day layover in Dubai, we'll proceed to Bangalore, our headquarters.
A Tirupathi tonsure trip, a madras visiting-relatives-and-shopping trip, parents' Sashthiaptha poorthy aka 60th wedding - a big misnomer! - the second wedding ceremony for a couple when the husband turns 60 - no season or reason to suddenly become unabashedly polygamous!, a Tanjavur, Kumbakonam temple trip...Visiting uncles, aunts, cousins, friends; extended relatives visiting us to see my daughter!
I have been advised/cautioned about possible sicknesses my daughter can develop - maleria/typhoid/stomach upset!
We have to eat at a few relatives' houses, we have a small list of restaurants we have visited in the past and want to go again to and a few places that are new to us and highly recommended. My mother and my husband's mother are waiting to make savouries for their grandchild! Hubby and I have discussed a day by day agenda of our trip a few times, each time it keeps getting modified. Our parents already take issue with parts of our loosely drafted programme!
I must remember to take deep breaths, not be overwhelmed and tackle shopping, daughter, husband-during-journey, husband-after-landing-in-India( most certainly 2 different entities), parents, in-laws, out-laws, on-the-fence-laws, break-the-laws - without getting flustered! So help me God!
Let's start with the basics!
Ever feel like
1)becoming a better person
2)wanting to be less of a pain to others
3)being a little more conscientious
start with the loo! If you're uncomfortable right here, STOP reading further! We all stand to gain from a good dose of reality check. If you believe this is true, read on!
Yeah, Seriously I can't believe how clueless( and callous) some folks are when it comes to restroom usage! How many times have we not entered a stall only to be repelled by the sights and smells? I am not talking about rest stops off highways with little maintenance! But about restrooms in offices, malls, airports etc which are being frequently cleaned painstakingly by janitors. It's a luxury that we have access to clean toilets in most public places free of charge. The least we can do is to at least leave it as clean as we found it. What's with the incomplete flushing, the messing beyond the confines of the toilet, the toilet paper strewn all over etc etc! I am deeply enraged when I see such sights. Today I felt miserable when a restroom attendant lady told me she just cleaned up pee off the floor in the restroom just minutes after she had done her routine detailed cleaning. I was washing my hands in the sink when she suddenly blurted out how miserable some people make her feel. I cringed to hear this, God knows how she must have felt. I see people rushing out of stalls sometimes merrily chatting on their cell phones with the flushing sound behind them. They don't even wait to check if all is clean before they leave. Why should they, it's something for the next occupant or the janitor to worry about!
If spitting or littering in public is indecency, so is this kind of apalling attitude in public restrooms! I hope someone comes up with an invention to enforce restroom etiquette- a device that sits inside each stall, say affixed to the inside of the door. It should be able to scan the state of the place before each occupant comes in, and should allow the door to open only when the place hasn't been messed relative to the initial scan. It should basically lock the occupant in until the toilet is flushed clean, toilet paper is in its place and no mess is made on the floor or walls. Seriously! Of course it should be able to sense if the flush is broken or the toilet paper dispenser is faulty or something!
We all have days when we open our eyes and just wish we didn't have to go to work that day; No matter what our professions we've all had days when work becomes mundane, repititious and a pain in the neck. A janitor's daily duties are not exactly fun or exciting - God bless them for their good attitude and work ethic.
It'd behoove us to remember what we teach little kids - Clean up after yourself! Adults, first get your own potty training straightened out! The kids are way less obnoxious!
1)becoming a better person
2)wanting to be less of a pain to others
3)being a little more conscientious
start with the loo! If you're uncomfortable right here, STOP reading further! We all stand to gain from a good dose of reality check. If you believe this is true, read on!
Yeah, Seriously I can't believe how clueless( and callous) some folks are when it comes to restroom usage! How many times have we not entered a stall only to be repelled by the sights and smells? I am not talking about rest stops off highways with little maintenance! But about restrooms in offices, malls, airports etc which are being frequently cleaned painstakingly by janitors. It's a luxury that we have access to clean toilets in most public places free of charge. The least we can do is to at least leave it as clean as we found it. What's with the incomplete flushing, the messing beyond the confines of the toilet, the toilet paper strewn all over etc etc! I am deeply enraged when I see such sights. Today I felt miserable when a restroom attendant lady told me she just cleaned up pee off the floor in the restroom just minutes after she had done her routine detailed cleaning. I was washing my hands in the sink when she suddenly blurted out how miserable some people make her feel. I cringed to hear this, God knows how she must have felt. I see people rushing out of stalls sometimes merrily chatting on their cell phones with the flushing sound behind them. They don't even wait to check if all is clean before they leave. Why should they, it's something for the next occupant or the janitor to worry about!
If spitting or littering in public is indecency, so is this kind of apalling attitude in public restrooms! I hope someone comes up with an invention to enforce restroom etiquette- a device that sits inside each stall, say affixed to the inside of the door. It should be able to scan the state of the place before each occupant comes in, and should allow the door to open only when the place hasn't been messed relative to the initial scan. It should basically lock the occupant in until the toilet is flushed clean, toilet paper is in its place and no mess is made on the floor or walls. Seriously! Of course it should be able to sense if the flush is broken or the toilet paper dispenser is faulty or something!
We all have days when we open our eyes and just wish we didn't have to go to work that day; No matter what our professions we've all had days when work becomes mundane, repititious and a pain in the neck. A janitor's daily duties are not exactly fun or exciting - God bless them for their good attitude and work ethic.
It'd behoove us to remember what we teach little kids - Clean up after yourself! Adults, first get your own potty training straightened out! The kids are way less obnoxious!
It's okay to be selfish
Yeah, that's right! Be a little self-centred, do a few things for yourself -
* Schedule that long overdue dentist appointment. You can act now and get it taken care of before those tingling sensations give way to shooting pain at 2 am followed by frantically looking for any available dentist who can see you, even if it means driving 25 miles from home.
* Get your hair trimmed/styled/colored - whatever it is you have been thinking of for a long time and just haven't gotten around to!
* Go for a jog, hit the gym or just go for that hike some friends keep bringing up in their conversations. Regular physical activity that you enjoy can make the day more manageable.
* Buy that top you so longingly keep turning over and over again in your hands at the store, yes the fitting room mirror said 'It looks good on you!'. It's okay to buy what you like even if your spouse, friend or that girl from the floor above you at work seem to disapprove of!
* Take those fifteen minutes to dress up every morning. In that time you could be watering the plants, replying to a couple of emails, fixing up a bit more in the kitchen or catching up on your voicemails. These are all important too, but go ahead and those few minutes you deny yourself wearing that lip gloss or eyeliner, doing your hair or looking for that matching bracelet to wear that day.
Taking a little time for your health, for your relaxation, for your grooming is not being selfish or superficial. Doing that bit for yourself will go a long way in preserving the health and happiness of those around you too. Especially motherhood is not martyr-hood. You set a great example for your kids when you take care of yourself. Taking care of family and home is very important, just don't lose sight of yourself in that family picture. Remember - Wear that oxygen mask yourself first before you can help others!
And in case you're wondering if I came up with all this introspection and deep thinking in a shrink's office, you're a little off the mark - it was at my long overdue visit to my dentist's office.
* Schedule that long overdue dentist appointment. You can act now and get it taken care of before those tingling sensations give way to shooting pain at 2 am followed by frantically looking for any available dentist who can see you, even if it means driving 25 miles from home.
* Get your hair trimmed/styled/colored - whatever it is you have been thinking of for a long time and just haven't gotten around to!
* Go for a jog, hit the gym or just go for that hike some friends keep bringing up in their conversations. Regular physical activity that you enjoy can make the day more manageable.
* Buy that top you so longingly keep turning over and over again in your hands at the store, yes the fitting room mirror said 'It looks good on you!'. It's okay to buy what you like even if your spouse, friend or that girl from the floor above you at work seem to disapprove of!
* Take those fifteen minutes to dress up every morning. In that time you could be watering the plants, replying to a couple of emails, fixing up a bit more in the kitchen or catching up on your voicemails. These are all important too, but go ahead and those few minutes you deny yourself wearing that lip gloss or eyeliner, doing your hair or looking for that matching bracelet to wear that day.
Taking a little time for your health, for your relaxation, for your grooming is not being selfish or superficial. Doing that bit for yourself will go a long way in preserving the health and happiness of those around you too. Especially motherhood is not martyr-hood. You set a great example for your kids when you take care of yourself. Taking care of family and home is very important, just don't lose sight of yourself in that family picture. Remember - Wear that oxygen mask yourself first before you can help others!
And in case you're wondering if I came up with all this introspection and deep thinking in a shrink's office, you're a little off the mark - it was at my long overdue visit to my dentist's office.
For the love of kick boxing
I have found an exercise activity that I enjoy doing - Turbo kick boxing! I enjoy the music, the moves and above all my guru - sach at 24 hr fitness. He is the reason I joined the gym again after a hiatus of almost two years after giving birth to my daughter. It's funny when I think - how I was a member of the gym for almost 3 odd years before I even conceived my daughter. At that time I'd go for 2 days and then not go for weeks or months together! Once in a while when DH would be looking at his bank account online, he'd bemoan paying up my monthly gym fee and would exclaim that he'd be feeling better doing charity instead! I'd then silently tie up my sneaker laces and chug up to work out. After a couple of days I'd slide off the routine. This story was repeating itself way too often. On occasions I did go, I'd only work on the treadmill and later on the ellipical. From my treadmill I always watched the group exercise classes going on through the glass walls of the exercise room. I never once felt that I should go and try one out, I cannot fathom why I didn't do that. After a really long time I once stepped into one of the classes - Turbo kick boxing by Sach. He was energetic and encouraging. I lasted for about 10 minutes and then, I had to rush to the back of the class to puff and pant for dear life on all fours! I went back a couple of times to that class and worked up my endurance to about 30 minutes. I liked how he was friendly and easy to approach. He always mindfully goes over the punches and kicks for the benefit of the one or two people in a sea of fifty, who are new to the class and to the activity itself. And he keeps a smiling face throughout the workout. But even that didn't spike my attendance at the gym. When I was about 4-5 months pregnant I cancelled my membership.
Now I 've joined again with the modest goal of going to kickboxing once every week, that's it. I have a two year old, I have to stealthily sneak out like a thief ( except that I am trying to exit the house and not the other way around). I don't feel good when I hear her searching for me while I am still in the garage. When she cries I feel selfish, evil! But I go! I have more things to do now as a working mother. It's hard, but I still go. On rare occasions I have also been able to go twice or sometimes even three times a week. I really really love the class. I have tried a few other classes too, but I keep concluding that this is my favourite. Sach makes it fun, he strikes a good balance and doesn't overdo it. His constant pushing by way of the verbal instructions and shout-outs makes the one hour just fly by. At the end of the hour I am sweaty, tired and sore, but blissfully so! Kickboxing is kicking my butt and I am loving it!
Now I 've joined again with the modest goal of going to kickboxing once every week, that's it. I have a two year old, I have to stealthily sneak out like a thief ( except that I am trying to exit the house and not the other way around). I don't feel good when I hear her searching for me while I am still in the garage. When she cries I feel selfish, evil! But I go! I have more things to do now as a working mother. It's hard, but I still go. On rare occasions I have also been able to go twice or sometimes even three times a week. I really really love the class. I have tried a few other classes too, but I keep concluding that this is my favourite. Sach makes it fun, he strikes a good balance and doesn't overdo it. His constant pushing by way of the verbal instructions and shout-outs makes the one hour just fly by. At the end of the hour I am sweaty, tired and sore, but blissfully so! Kickboxing is kicking my butt and I am loving it!
GIVE ME RED!
We have a maple tree off our family room balcony and another just by our front porch. The leaves have turned a beautiful red. Yes, this is no New England fall color extravaganza, but this is 'Autumn in California'. We spend most of our time at home in our family room-kitchen, the glass sliding door to the balcony forms one entire wall rendering these scarlet beauties a natural mural to this space.
At the crack of dawn, they are a picture of tenderness - they always make me smile as I draw the blinds open. At mid-day the direct rays of the sunlight suffuse the entire room with a nice red glow ; and in the evenings, they have yet another warm aura to them! It's heartwarming to see them gently sway in the breeze. I am not a maple tree starer ( or gazer, or whatever the term is!), but every time I look up, every time I turn my head I can't help but catch a glimpse and let a sigh of admiration! And I am a sucker for crimson!
How true - A thing of beauty is a joy forever!
At the crack of dawn, they are a picture of tenderness - they always make me smile as I draw the blinds open. At mid-day the direct rays of the sunlight suffuse the entire room with a nice red glow ; and in the evenings, they have yet another warm aura to them! It's heartwarming to see them gently sway in the breeze. I am not a maple tree starer ( or gazer, or whatever the term is!), but every time I look up, every time I turn my head I can't help but catch a glimpse and let a sigh of admiration! And I am a sucker for crimson!
How true - A thing of beauty is a joy forever!
No fun without faux-pas!
Embarassments and goof-ups make for interesting anecdotes and some of the best laugh-worthy moments. Laughter that periodically punctuates a good conversation detailing one's own or better still - someone else's slip ups - some of the best times in life! These moments positively beat the contrived, compressed humor of movies based on mistaken identities, overly exaggerated circumstances trying very hard to whip up a comedy of errors.
Like this one time when : my sister,Vidya who lives in Santa Rosa does all her Indian grocery shopping everytime she comes down to the Bay area. If she knows someone from here is visiting her, she usually gives them a shopping list of things she needs. One time, when a relative of ours, who we call 'kanna anna' was going to visit Santa Rosa, she wanted to send him an email asking him to fetch a few things for her. Kanna anna's actual name is Gopal. My sister who did not know his email id very confidently emailed a list to gopal@XYZ.com ( he worked for XYZ company). Needless to say, it reached the wrong Mr.Gopal in Seattle. Her email said - kanna anna, please bring me the following items from the Indian store......
The reply came in a few minutes - " Dear Vidya, I'd love to bring these things for you, but I am sorry, I do not know where you live and I am not your kanna anna".
The best part is, after seeing this email, my sister writes again - 'C'mon kanna anna, please don't joke. I really need these things, so please bring them ...blah! blah!
A phone convo later in the day with the real kanna anna cleared the confusion and resulted in a great deal of embarassment to my sister and some laughs for all of us.
Another total sardarji joke moment - My mother took my sister and me to have us start carnatic music classes with an elderly lady. When we reached the gate of their house, which was big and posh, my mother asked me to wait before entering. She wanted me to enquire if they had a dog that we should be wary about,(we are all a little fond of and equally scared of dogs) even though there was no 'Beware of dog' sign that most dog owners display. There was a garage at the end of the drive way which was open and inside a lady was teaching a few children - looked like tutorials to us. I opened my mouth and said something that caused everyone to stare at me in shocked disbelief, followed by some giggles and laughs, and my mom gave me a gentle slap on my back! I myself could not believe I had said "Excuse me, nimma manelli aane idiya?" - Do you have an elephant in your house - instead of "nimma manelli naayi idiya?" - Is there a dog in your house? I have been quoted for this one and it has caused some big outbursts of laughs on different occasions, but till today I cannot figure out what made me blurt out something like that!
I'll recount a few more in subsequent articles! why don't you share some of your comic moments ?
Like this one time when : my sister,Vidya who lives in Santa Rosa does all her Indian grocery shopping everytime she comes down to the Bay area. If she knows someone from here is visiting her, she usually gives them a shopping list of things she needs. One time, when a relative of ours, who we call 'kanna anna' was going to visit Santa Rosa, she wanted to send him an email asking him to fetch a few things for her. Kanna anna's actual name is Gopal. My sister who did not know his email id very confidently emailed a list to gopal@XYZ.com ( he worked for XYZ company). Needless to say, it reached the wrong Mr.Gopal in Seattle. Her email said - kanna anna, please bring me the following items from the Indian store......
The reply came in a few minutes - " Dear Vidya, I'd love to bring these things for you, but I am sorry, I do not know where you live and I am not your kanna anna".
The best part is, after seeing this email, my sister writes again - 'C'mon kanna anna, please don't joke. I really need these things, so please bring them ...blah! blah!
A phone convo later in the day with the real kanna anna cleared the confusion and resulted in a great deal of embarassment to my sister and some laughs for all of us.
Another total sardarji joke moment - My mother took my sister and me to have us start carnatic music classes with an elderly lady. When we reached the gate of their house, which was big and posh, my mother asked me to wait before entering. She wanted me to enquire if they had a dog that we should be wary about,(we are all a little fond of and equally scared of dogs) even though there was no 'Beware of dog' sign that most dog owners display. There was a garage at the end of the drive way which was open and inside a lady was teaching a few children - looked like tutorials to us. I opened my mouth and said something that caused everyone to stare at me in shocked disbelief, followed by some giggles and laughs, and my mom gave me a gentle slap on my back! I myself could not believe I had said "Excuse me, nimma manelli aane idiya?" - Do you have an elephant in your house - instead of "nimma manelli naayi idiya?" - Is there a dog in your house? I have been quoted for this one and it has caused some big outbursts of laughs on different occasions, but till today I cannot figure out what made me blurt out something like that!
I'll recount a few more in subsequent articles! why don't you share some of your comic moments ?
Kindness in the most unusual forms
It was the first day of our three day trip to Seattle. Despite its weather and all the bad rep the city gets because of it, I've always liked Seattle on each of my visits. May be it's the verdant setting, the ubiquitous lakes or simply the good time I'd had there with family and our friends, Seattle is a little dear to me.
On this particular day, the four of us - myself, husband, daughter and my youunger sister drove to Snoqualmie falls after a nice sumptuous lunch. My sister had recently had an ankle fracture, her left foot was still in a cast and she walked using crutches. We enjoyed the view of the falls, at a distance, from the lookout. We took some pictures and as we were walking back toward the parkling lot, we saw a sign that read ' river trail, 1 mi'. I was tempted and asked my sister if she thought she could make it. The folks walking back after the hike raved about the spectacular view of the falls from down there and said it was really a short, easy hike. So, I coaxed DH and DS ( dear sister) to go on the trail with me. It was ridiculous and insane of me to do that. The hike was steadily downhill which meant we would have a difficult ascent on the way back. After every 5 minutes, people returning told us we were very close to it and that it was worth the trouble. But obviously, some of them were wrong, it did take us a good 25-30 minutes to get down there. When we were almost there, we saw a parking lot down there to our right. It immediately gave us a sense of hope that if one of us could drive the car down from the upper level parking lot, to this lot, it'd mean escaping the almost impossible climb with our toddler and my sister limping with her crutches.
We had to walk over a narrow wooden bridge to reach the deck, from where there was an indeed breathtaking view of the falls. After some mandatory 'click click' we managed to walk back to the parking lot we'd spotted on our way down. My husband enquired with a couple of people there and learnt the upper leve parking lot was only five minutes drive away. He asked me to wait there with DD and DS while he walked up and drove back to pick us up. It was barely 2-3 minutes since he'd left that a downpour started. I saw DH running back toward us. The rain forced us under a tree and we quickly decided asking for help was the only way to go.
DH first asked the driver of a silver Hyundai if they had room for one person. They didn't, there were 3 adults and two kids in their child seats. We then spotted a desi family loading up into their green SUV. As DH went up to them to explain the situation, I suddenly turned my head to see the silver Hyundai do a full speed reverse, a lady from the back seat got out and sat on the lap of a gentleman in the front passenger seat. Meanwhile, the driver, a lady in her late fifties I suppose, asked me where my husband was. She said she could give him a ride. I swallowed in amazement, nodded and called out to DH saying 'She can take you!'. He immediately thanked the desi family and ran toward the silver car, sat in the back and they left. All three adults in that car were really large, they were fat. For them to sit on one another just so they could help us, was indeed an extraordinary act of kindness. They must have felt sorry for our plight - caught in the rain with a baby and a handicapped person. I turned towards DS and said " See, desis never help. These other guys have been so kind!". Before I could finish my thought, the green SUV stopped by us, the driver asked us if my husband had received help, I said "yes". He asked us if we were okay or if we needed a ride. I told him if he could take us, that'd be helpful or else, we would just wait for my husband to come back for us. The desi family had two slightly older kids on booster seats. They had the 2 kids sit on their grandparents' laps and removed the booster seats to make room for us. It was just enough room for one adult, but myself, DS and DD on my lap managed to squish ourselves fit! My sister gave me a smile as to say " what did you just say about Indians and their helping nature?"! It was only a five minute ride to the top, but in heavy rain and some really winding roads with no pavement. We got out, just as my husband exited the silver Hyundai. We thanked both the families and said bye to them. We had seen two examples of timely help from total strangers, people who went out of their ways, inconvenienced themselves to do this. But for them, we would have had a nightmare of an experience making it all the way to the top by ourselves, on foot. I don't know if I'll ever have a chance to repay the same folks, but I intend to repay the good deed when an opportunity presents itself, continuing the chain of kindness.
On this particular day, the four of us - myself, husband, daughter and my youunger sister drove to Snoqualmie falls after a nice sumptuous lunch. My sister had recently had an ankle fracture, her left foot was still in a cast and she walked using crutches. We enjoyed the view of the falls, at a distance, from the lookout. We took some pictures and as we were walking back toward the parkling lot, we saw a sign that read ' river trail, 1 mi'. I was tempted and asked my sister if she thought she could make it. The folks walking back after the hike raved about the spectacular view of the falls from down there and said it was really a short, easy hike. So, I coaxed DH and DS ( dear sister) to go on the trail with me. It was ridiculous and insane of me to do that. The hike was steadily downhill which meant we would have a difficult ascent on the way back. After every 5 minutes, people returning told us we were very close to it and that it was worth the trouble. But obviously, some of them were wrong, it did take us a good 25-30 minutes to get down there. When we were almost there, we saw a parking lot down there to our right. It immediately gave us a sense of hope that if one of us could drive the car down from the upper level parking lot, to this lot, it'd mean escaping the almost impossible climb with our toddler and my sister limping with her crutches.
We had to walk over a narrow wooden bridge to reach the deck, from where there was an indeed breathtaking view of the falls. After some mandatory 'click click' we managed to walk back to the parking lot we'd spotted on our way down. My husband enquired with a couple of people there and learnt the upper leve parking lot was only five minutes drive away. He asked me to wait there with DD and DS while he walked up and drove back to pick us up. It was barely 2-3 minutes since he'd left that a downpour started. I saw DH running back toward us. The rain forced us under a tree and we quickly decided asking for help was the only way to go.
DH first asked the driver of a silver Hyundai if they had room for one person. They didn't, there were 3 adults and two kids in their child seats. We then spotted a desi family loading up into their green SUV. As DH went up to them to explain the situation, I suddenly turned my head to see the silver Hyundai do a full speed reverse, a lady from the back seat got out and sat on the lap of a gentleman in the front passenger seat. Meanwhile, the driver, a lady in her late fifties I suppose, asked me where my husband was. She said she could give him a ride. I swallowed in amazement, nodded and called out to DH saying 'She can take you!'. He immediately thanked the desi family and ran toward the silver car, sat in the back and they left. All three adults in that car were really large, they were fat. For them to sit on one another just so they could help us, was indeed an extraordinary act of kindness. They must have felt sorry for our plight - caught in the rain with a baby and a handicapped person. I turned towards DS and said " See, desis never help. These other guys have been so kind!". Before I could finish my thought, the green SUV stopped by us, the driver asked us if my husband had received help, I said "yes". He asked us if we were okay or if we needed a ride. I told him if he could take us, that'd be helpful or else, we would just wait for my husband to come back for us. The desi family had two slightly older kids on booster seats. They had the 2 kids sit on their grandparents' laps and removed the booster seats to make room for us. It was just enough room for one adult, but myself, DS and DD on my lap managed to squish ourselves fit! My sister gave me a smile as to say " what did you just say about Indians and their helping nature?"! It was only a five minute ride to the top, but in heavy rain and some really winding roads with no pavement. We got out, just as my husband exited the silver Hyundai. We thanked both the families and said bye to them. We had seen two examples of timely help from total strangers, people who went out of their ways, inconvenienced themselves to do this. But for them, we would have had a nightmare of an experience making it all the way to the top by ourselves, on foot. I don't know if I'll ever have a chance to repay the same folks, but I intend to repay the good deed when an opportunity presents itself, continuing the chain of kindness.
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